Had a little scare yesterday. I was out riding my bike like Louie-Louie Generation guys should do every day, and just for an instant, the road started slowly pivoting to the left. It was pretty obvious that we were either having an earthquake or I was getting dizzy….and of course it had to be the earthquake… because it couldnâ€™t be that I was getting dizzy…right? I mean, the former chief lifeguard of Coney Island Section 6 doesnâ€™t get dizzy…just because heâ€™s riding his non gear shift bike up a pretty steep hill on a rather hot day. After all, even though a lot of years have slipped by since my chief lifeguard hood expired… eventually that kind of thing will probably happen…but not now…not yet.
I took a moment to stop and put my foot down on the pavement to steady the earth. I was breathing a little heavily…but then a pretty girl in short shorts and a tight tank top smiled and waved driving past…and I got a little distracted. So I did what any other former hunk lifeguard Louie-Louie Generation bike riding rascal would do…I said, letâ€™s get on with the party…I grabbed my water bottle…took an extra long swig…and started pedaling again.
I ride my bike just about every day because I am always grateful that I donâ€™t have a lot of things that I donâ€™t want…like having my body attack me. But I like to huff and puff my own way. I hate organized exercise classes. The guys who run them have attitudes. I donâ€™t need their attitudes…Iâ€™ve got one of my own. I think the only time you should attend an organized exercise class is very early in the morning… before your brain recognizes what youâ€™re doing. Besides, when you sign up for an organized exercise class, they tell you to wear loose fitting clothes. If you had any loose fitting clothes, you wouldnâ€™t be signing up for an exercise class.
Anyway…I started pedaling again…and we must have had an after shock from that first earthquake…because the pavement started pivoting to the left again…and thereâ€™s nothing like a second case of pivoting pavement to get your attention while youâ€™re trying to ride your bike. This time, I actually got off the bike and sat down…trying hard to look like I was doing it on purpose for the people driving past in their cars. I took another long swig of water and figured Iâ€™d reach down and loosen my belt…but my fingers couldnâ€™t find it. I had to actually look. It was turning into one of those days when, if somebody said, “Have a nice day,” youâ€™d have to say, “Thank you, but I seem to have other plans.”
The truth is…I was scared. This never happened to me before. You know how your life flashes past your eyes in frightening moments… well, my life flashed by…and it seemed like I wasnâ€™t in it. Who the heck was this guy sitting on the curb trying to catch his breath? I used to play hardball…and I was pretty good. I used to get intentional walks during batting practice. Thatâ€™s not true…but itâ€™s what I always tell my Lady Wonder Wench because I like to hear her laugh.
I started thinking about Wonder Wench while I was sitting there on the curb trying to catch my breath. I was afraid sheâ€™d happen to drive by and see me without my suit of shining armor. Then I thought about the question on the pilot license physical that says, “Do you experience dizzy spells?”…and I know you better check no on that one if you want to keep your pilotâ€™s license. But then…fortunately… I remembered the advice of “Big Louie” his own bad self…he said, “You can always jump off that kind of bridge when you get to it.” I know Iâ€™ll get to that bridge someday… but not now. Not yet.
But itâ€™s times like that when you almost wish you were young again. Of course, you can get rid of that kind of thinking by remembering pimples and algebra. So I started giving myself a pep talk. I said, “Self…itâ€™s just the heat. Yeah! Right! This is still young blood…itâ€™s just in an aging container!”
My life has always been a surprise party full of great stuff. A Lady I love… great family… some real friends… going to the beach… lying in bed listening to the rain…watching the sun slide over the horizon from the left front seat of a small airplane… Tchaikovsky in New Yorkâ€™s Central Park… being on the radio in my own home town…” She Loves Ya, Yeah yeah yeah”..and of course, “Louie-Louie…we gotta go.”
Gotta admit…I was feeling a little sorry for myself…and a little scared that the party was getting kind of late….until…I got to the top of heartbreak hill right up at the beginning of my driveway. And right on cue…a small breeze flipped the edge of the flag by our front door. A buddy of mine who used to listen to the “Good Night” PodCasts sent it to us. On the back edge…he used a felt pen to write some words that always make me stop…grab a little pride…and stand up a little straighter. “Camp Adder, Iraq, September 11, 2006.”
Suddenly…I wasnâ€™t feeling sorry for myself anymore.
1- Why do New Yorkers spend less of their lives waiting for red lights than people in the rest of the country?
2- Who lies more…scientists or chimpanzees?
3- The revolving door was invented in 1895, leading to the invention of what common 21st century job?
3 right – Party Animal.
2 right – Animal.
1 right – Party Pooper.
0 right – Pooper.
GOOF OFF ALERT! If you pop in here for a visit in the next few weeks, and you donâ€™t see something brand new…donâ€™t get upset. Weâ€™re not going away. My Lady Wonder Wench has been muttering …while putting the steak knives away…something about she WANTS TO TAKE A VACATION! Several cases of Lorena Bobbittâ€™s Syndrome have been reported in the area…so Iâ€™m doing what I can to keep her calm and distracted…which is why I may miss a new posting or two in the next month… but maybe not…and if I do… WE WILL BE BACK. Meantime…still answering e-mails at Dick@DickSummer.com