If young bodies are like temples, Louie-Louie Generation bodies are generally more like auto repair shops…except for certain Louie-Louie Generation ladies with their own unique architecture …like Sophia Loren, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and my Lady Wonder Wench.You have no choice about becoming a member of “The Greatest Generation”, “Generation X” or the “Baby Boomers”…it simply depends on how old you are…youâ€™re either a member or youâ€™re not. You can JOIN the Louie-Louie Generation if you feel like it. Age is obviously a factor. If youâ€™re a kid, youâ€™re not going to know anything about “Louie-Louie”. But attitude is even more important than age.For example…there are Louie-Louie guys and girls my age who are ever so grateful that wrinkles donâ€™t hurt…and we know weâ€™re definitely into the third act of the play…but weâ€™re still getting enough applause for our performances …so itâ€™s ok. But there are also Louie-Louie Generation guys and girls who are just noticing that the bite marks on their legs are getting higher as their kids get taller…the girls are putting their bikinis away in a mothball, and the guys are beginning to lose the hair on their heads, and growing it in silly places like the tops of their ears.
Sometimes it takes a “Rubber Glove Moment” to make us realize that maybe itâ€™s time to join the Louie-Louie Generation. Rubber gloves are the worst kind of gloves…any guy who has ever gone for a physical knows that. And my Lady Wonder Wench says theyâ€™re also part of a “pap smear” thatâ€™s not exactly a fun run either. Rubber Glove Moments are usually quick…itâ€™s like you wake up screaming, but all of a sudden you realize you havenâ€™t fallen asleep yet.
I had a “Rubber Glove Moment” again this morning when I saw the guy in the shaving mirror. Iâ€™m 25 years old…on the inside. Itâ€™s been a long time since Iâ€™ve been 25 years old on the outside…and wow…this morning the lighting must have been really honest. Itâ€™s kind of funny that nobody wants to get older, but nobody wants to die young either. Whatâ€™s the choice ? Maybe a better question is, which guy is which.
“Big Louie his own bad self” told me, “Maybe itâ€™s up to you who is Mr. Summer and who is Mr. Hyde.” “Big Louie” likes that word “maybe”… because heâ€™s not comfortable in the Guru-Savior-Infallible category of Wise Guy. He likes a “try it out and see if it works for you” way of looking at life. I do too. He says, “Honesty… is The Truth… times Maybe.” And: “Maybe nobody cares that youâ€™re shy.” And: “Maybe you canâ€™t drown in your own sweat.” I think the Wizard of Oz must have taken Big Louie aside one day…and left him standing there.
So how will you know if youâ€™re Louie-Louie Generation material? If you answer yes to most of the following questions, the answer is… maybe you are. 1- You take a look at the dating web sites…e harmony dot com and such…and you notice that everybody is romantic and likes walking in the rain…but you recently looked outside and noticed that itâ€™s raining…and although under your shirt you would dearly like to be a sea of hickies…youâ€™re not going to do it if it means walking out there getting wet? 2- Have you all of a sudden noticed that you are watching the Weather Channel more than youâ€™re watching VH1? 3- If youâ€™re a guy, do you find that youâ€™re keeping more food than beer in the fridge? 4- If youâ€™re a girl, do you get kind ofÂ a kick out of the fact that I just called you a girl instead of a woman? 5- When you go to the drug store these days, is it more often for ibuprofen and antacid instead of a pregnancy test? 6- Do you now feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonaldâ€™s left overs? 7- In high school, did you tend to spend a little more time in detention than most of your friends? 8- When you were a kid, did you have your own favorite speaker spot at the drive-in movie? 9- Have you ever watched the tv newscasts and thought to yourself, “I donâ€™t often pray, but if youâ€™re really up there please save us, Batman”? 10 – (Worth 3 points) Do you WANNA ?
So…HOW DID YOU DO ? Let me know please. My Email is Dick@DickSummer.comÂ Â Â
1- Whatâ€™s the main reason you might not want to pour kitty litter into your shoes at night?
2- What will you get if you eat 10,957 apples?
3- What should you never do with a rubber glove?
3 Right – Gotcha with that “hickies” bit, didnâ€™t I?
2-Right – You know what singerâ€™s name rhymes with “pelvis.”
1-Right – The dog ate your homework.
0-Right – You think “Batman” has something to do with the New York Mets.
PS – How come we get dressed in the clothes we wear for work, drive through traffic in a car weâ€™re still paying for, to get to a job that we need in order to pay for the clothes, the car, and the house weâ€™re not in because…weâ€™re at work? How come I saw a guy at the airport…and just before he walked through the metal detector, he looked down at the plastic ID tag he was wearing like he was checking to be sure who he is? And how come youâ€™re dirty, filthy and depraved if you like sex, but weâ€™re supposed to save sex for those we really love?
If you have any good answers for any of the above, please contact me immediately atÂ Dick@DickSummer.com