Dick Summer Connection

Lies are the fertilizer that makes hypocracy bloom in the spring.

Al “Sharpie” Sharpton assured us he was concerned only with expressing his “indignation and moral outrage” at the hurt Don Imus did to the girls on the Rutgers basketball team…that’s all. Political ambition? A publicity ploy? Perish the thought. But now that Don may make a come back, the first guy the news media called for a comment was…”Sharpie”… who quite generously gave his permission to the network to re-hire Don…”under the right conditions.” No doubt “Sharpie” will decide what those conditions are in due time. Wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised if the network were to make a small contribution to the “Reverend’s church” in the process.

Hitler was right about lies. He said make ‘em big enough, and tell ‘em over and over again, and after a while people will believe them. As you know, before he got into politics, Hitler studied for the priesthood. We assume he failed. One guy who passed is the present Pope. He just told a whopper. “The Catholic Church is the only true Church.” Hitler may, of course, have been “misguided.” Perhaps he was “judgment impaired” due to being toilet trained at gunpoint. The Pope, however, is infallible in matters of faith and morals, and therefore cannot make mistakes. But he sure can tell whoppers.

I don’t like lies. Haven’t told one since my divorce. It’s not just that I like confusing people with the truth…because I have a problem with the truth too… and it’s not that I think lies are sinful. They just weaken you…and …I ain’t no wuss. I lied to my first wife while I was seeing my Lady Wonder Wench. I’m not proud of it. But I am glad I stopped lying about it…the honesty felt good…it got me strong again.

I said I don’t lie, but I also have a problem with the truth. I’m almost as suspicious of someone who “always tells the absolute truth” as I am with a constant liar. Another story Proud PodCast Participant Jim King sent was about Father Norton…who woke up Sunday morning and decided he just had to go play golf. So he called his assistant and said, “Please say my mass for me today, I’m not feeling well.” Then he headed to a golf course about 40 miles away so he wouldn’t accidently meet anyone from his parish. He was all alone …after all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church. St. Peter leaned over to the Lord while they were looking down on this and said, “You’re not going to let him get away with this are you?” The Lord said, “No, of course not.” Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight toward the pin, dropping just short of it…rolled up and fell into the hole. A 420 yard hole in one. St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and said, “Why did you let him do that ?” The Lord smiled and said, “Who can he tell ?”

One guy’s truth is another guy’s propaganda. George Washington is America’s Revolutionary hero, but King George’s traitor. One guy’s religion is another guy’s cult. People who faithfully follow their religions kill people who are killing people…to enforce the fifth Commandment…Thou Shalt Not Kill.

That’s why smart Louie-Louie Generation guys and girls tend to remember what Big Louie his own bad self always says: “Truth” times “Maybe” = “Honesty.”

Honesty is the product of what you believe is the truth, a small helping of “maybe”, and if possible a certain sense of perspective, experience and humor. Honesty is good. Lies are for wusses. The truth can be catastrophic. Remember… the guys who flew the airliners on September 11, 2001 were faithfully following their religious ” truth.”

Some religion, sometime, should consider including an honest dose of “maybe.” God willing.

Dick’s Details Quiz – All answers are available in the current PodCast at www.dicksummer.com

1- What well known religious icon suffers damage when lots of people go for Acupuncture treatments?

2- What well known game started with a rule book that said, “Gentlemen only, ladies forbidden?”

3- What should you do to be sure you’ll sleep like a log ?

Scoring:

3 right – Honesty.

2 right – Truth.

1 right – Justice

0 right – Whoops.

This blog and the current PodCast may offend some people. Obviously that’s not my intention. But I won’t say I’m sorry, because that would be a lie. I tried to be honest with you when I was on the air, and I try to be honest with you now when you write (dick@dicksummer.com  )  or call…(610-793:0587)and it’s the same with the Dick Summer Connection and the Good Night PodCast.

I can’t stand politics. It’s too often built on self serving lies. “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help you.” (Right.) And I’ve come to distrust religions. They’re too often built on self serving “truths.” “This is the word of the Lord.” (Says who.)

I love my country. It has big problems. But it’s stupid to complain about problems without trying to do something to solve them. Our solutions haven’t solved our problems so far…and I hate it when we give up and dump the responsibility for solving our problems on somebody we call God, Yahweh, or Allah.

I like being honest. That means I tell you what I think is the truth…with the understanding that maybe I’m right…and maybe I’m not…but this is what I honestly believe. If you want to try to convince me I’m wrong…go ahead, I’ll listen…don’t hold your breath…but I WILL listen…and I’ll listen with as much of an open mind as I can.

Our country…and all mankind, has big problems right now. Big deal “Experts” huff and puff about them endlessly. I’m well aware that this blog and PodCast aren’t big deals. But if you don’t think little things can make a difference… let me know how well you can sleep when there’s a mosquito in the room. My Email is Dick@DickSummer.com 

 

 

Maybe this next story will take a little time to tell…but I think it’s worth it. It’s an honest story, told by Proud PodCast Participant “Joan P.” Last August, Joan sent me an email saying, “Dear Dick, I started seeing a very important guy in my life during the summer of 1973. I gave him a copy of your book Lovin Touch after hearing some of the stories on the radio. The stories meant a lot to me. We were both legally separated at the time. We spent several wonderful years together. But eventually he went back to his wife, and I re-married. My husband passed away in January of 2006, and his wife passed away the following March. When a mutual friend of ours mentioned that his wife had died, I hesitated, but eventually called to offer my condolences. That call opened a whole new chapter in our lives.

Two days after my call to him, he called me back. The calls between us became daily affairs, and they lasted many hours. We had roughly 25 years to catch up on. Last Monday he called to invite me to lunch during the week. Of course I said yes. Our first look at one another is one that I will hold forever in my heart. We didn’t see how the years had changed us…me now 65 and he at almost 62…it was a look of what we had both missed for all those years.

After tonight’s five hour conversation, he mentioned remembering my gift to him of your Lovin Touch book. He even said it had a red cover. I couldn’t believe he remembered. He said for almost three weeks he had been searching the house for it and couldn’t find it. I ordered your CD, but would also like to get a new copy of the book. It would mean so much to me if you could help me locate one. I would be able to write inside, ‘To our second beginning…forever.’ Can you please help me locate one ?”

(I don’t have any more copies and had to tell her so. But I did send her a copy of the Bedtime Stories CD. Joan found copies of a couple of the books on Amazon and sent me this note:) “Hi Dick, just received your copy of Bedtime Stories. Thank you so much. Dave is going to be so surprised when I give him the books and the CDs.

A couple of weeks later, Joan sent another note: “Hi Dick, I thought I would bring you up to date on my re-connection with Dave. It was beautiful…more than either one of us could have imagined. I pulled into his driveway and was greeted by his puppy ‘Char.’ Then Dave came around the corner and it was sheer joy. A hug, a warm embrace and a lingering kiss. We talked, we embraced, we giggled and laughed, and ‘lovin’ touches put us in a world of our own. We had to part and go back to our lives on Saturday, but Dave said, ‘This is just the beginning. We’ll only be apart a short time.’

Joan sent a nice Christmas card…and then this note was in today’s E-mail “in box”: “Hi Dick, wanted to give you an update. Dave and I are still together, and still very much in love. We’re coming up on the first anniversary of our new beginning. What really challenged our true love is when Dave was diagnosed with lung cancer in January. I have been with him every day since then. He has now completed his chemo and radiation, and goes for a repeat CT Scan later this week. We hope to be together, but we’ll treasure whatever time we have left.”

Maybe they’ll have a long time together. I hope they do.

I was going to say this series of Emails isn’t great literature…but maybe it is. Guess it depends on what you call great literature. It made me feel good when I was hurting for some good friends… and for myself. It’s an honest story about two people who put their lives together, tore them apart, and found each other again. It’s an honest story that found its way into the same E-mail “in box” as a ton of phony spam about penis extenders, Christian mortgages, notices of winning a Nigerian fortune, and promises of sexual splendor with un-named “beautiful young women who are feeling lonely.”

Notice I called it an honest story…not a true story. I’ve been a member of the Louie-Louie Generation long enough to be suspicious of “the Truth.” I’ve come to know and respect the word Maybe. “Big Louie his own bad self” told me…”Truth times Maybe equals Honesty.” It seems to me that big “Truths” with no room for small “Maybes” is the kind of thing that starts book burnings, witch hunts, and “Holy Wars”…to say nothing of statements like “you’re either with us or you’re against us,” “we must bring our way of life to the world,” and “Ours is the only true church.”  

So if this simple, honest story makes me feel like maybe I can stay grimly optimistic for awhile longer…maybe I can call it great literature if I want. Honestly… reading it made me feel better than I did when I read Moby Dick.

 

DICK’S DETAILS QUIZ – All answers are in the current PodCast at www.dicksummer.com 

 

1- What should we call a couple of slices of bread with ham and cheese in between? (hint…sandwich isn’t the answer.)

2- Who was the first president of the United States? (hint…it wasn’t George.)

3- Who was everybody’s “Uncle Walter” in the 1960s?

Scoring:

3 right – Maybe you’re a genius.

2 right – Maybe you’re not.

1 right – Maybe you’d better listen again.

0 right – Maybe you shouldn’t bother.

QUESTION – If I had “Louie-Louie Generation” baseball caps made, and sold them at cost, would you be interested in sticking your head into one ? Please let me know at- dick@dicksummer.com

PS- I’d like to think that maybe people will forgive our terrible national and religious conceits, just as Id like to think that Joan and Dave will have many happy years together, and that the Prince really does hop around pretty well, and that he’s good at keeping the flies off the princess… and I want to think that maybe Cinderella is really still beautiful and graceful, and her prince is still strong and faithful, and maybe they’re still dancing to the same music they heard at the ball…because they’re still hearing it in their hearts…maybe even forever and ever…amen.

Maybe.

 

Here’s the lesson…if it were important enough to me, I’d take the time to do something about it…like go there.

So, thank you for the lesson. I do learn.

I just promised my lady Wonder Wench that we will go to Maui next spring. Seeing her in a grass skirt will be more than worth the money. And as a charter member of the “Louie-Louie Generation,” I better get working on the rest of my list of places I want to go and things I want to do…now…while I can still have fun doing them.

Proud PodCast Participant Capt. Eric also had a comment about my suggestion that you can enjoy sneezing without catching a cold simply by looking into a bright light. (I think sneezing is one of the most satisfying things a human being can do with his clothes on.) Capt. Eric says, “If you sneeze in the face of a bright light, you’re in a genetic group with about 1/3 of the population. That’s a totally inherited tendency…like the ability to curl your tongue or touch your tongue to your nose.” (We’ll pause here for a moment to give you the time to try those things….time’s up.) Eric continues, “You and I share that trait. I remember being in a play in college, lying on the stage dressed in a buffalo robe (“Indians” by Arthur Kopit…great play). All was dark, then the stage lights came up full bright…and I was looking right at them. It was all I could do to keep from ruining the scene. I was, after all, supposed to be a dead buffalo.”

By the way, the overwhelming number one choice for favorite food was various forms of PIZZA. And PodCast Master David Summer added a list of his four favorite movies…”Groundhog Day” (a strange title for a dedicated vegetarian to choose), the Hope/Crosby Road pictures, the “Star Trek” Movies, and “Young Man With A Horn.” (A non porn film about a musician.) Thank you for answering my request for your favorites.

You’re making this blog feel more and more like “The Huddle.”

Here’s what I mean. I played a reasonable amount of football when I was a kid. When I was on the radio…and things were really going well…I got the same kind of feeling I used to get in a football huddle. A few good guys gathered around protecting each other and planning what we were going to do to WIN and impress the cheerleaders.

I had a good radio career on some of the country’s biggest stations… WNEW, WNEW-FM, WNBC, WOR, WBZ, WIBC…and I got that “Huddle” feeling on every one of them. It wasn’t like talking to millions of people…just a few good guys…protecting each other…and planning to WIN.

Some nights I also got a feeling that I called the “Pillow.” That was how it felt to talk very quietly into a beautiful woman’s freshly shampooed hair…spread out on her pillow…as she’s smiling…and slipping off to sleep.

 

That’s why I call this the Dick Summer Connection.

DICK’S DETAILS QUIZ – All answers are available in the current PodCast at www.dicksummer.com

1- The word “aerobic” comes from an ancient Brooklyn word meaning_________.

2- What’s the perfect answer to “Big boys don’t cry.”

3- “Big Louie” says, “Celibacy is no more of a virtue than______.

Scoring:

3 – right – Join “The Huddle.”

2 – right – Be the fifth caller to win.

1- right – Can’t take your request right now.

0 – right – Your transistor battery just died.

FOR COMMENTS, THOUGHTS, SUGGESTIONS and/or PAYOLA MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IS DICK@DICKSUMMER.COM   

 

PS. I was only kidding about Robert DeNiro in the PodCast. None of the actresses who appeared in steamy love scenes really complained. At least not about his hairy back.