Archive for June, 2007

The Dick Summer Connection – July 1- 2007

Saturday, June 30th, 2007

You are a member of the “Louie-Louie” generation if “Louie-Louie” is a song that has been playing somewhere in the back of your head since you first heard it all those years ago. “Louie-Louie” was written in 1956 by Richard Berry, a second rate west coast R&B singer. It was originally about a lonely sailor telling his story to a bartender whose name was Louie. (In this blog and PodCast, he is known as “Big Louie”… his big bad self…our main man.)

The Kingsmen recorded the hit version of the song in 1963 as an audition to get work on a cruise ship. They didn’t get the gig, but the record began to get radio play. But there was a problem.There’s just no way anybody could understand what the hell Jack Ely, the lead singer is saying…so the rumor got started that the lyrics were dirty. Naturally, the “Forces For Good In The Community,”(F.F.G. I.T.C.)including the Governor of Indiana, were morally outraged. The FCC got involved. The Feds tried as hard as they could to figure out what the words really are. They even tried playing the record at different speeds. Finally, they gave up and said “we just can’t understand it.”

And that did it.Every guy I knew all of a sudden had a typewritten copy of the “Official Lyrics” tucked in right beside that “trojan” in his wallet. In an unofficial survey that I conducted at the time, no two copies of the “Official Lyrics” were ever the same. The song zipped up the charts to number two and stayed there for six weeks.

ONLY NUMBER TWO ! John Belushi’s ultimate Raunchy Party Anthem…The Lustful Lyric of “Animal House”…the rowdy soundtrack of our youth…never made it to Number one.

“Louie-Louie” was…and still is…”hot.” It’s sexy, it has “tude,” and it’s right in your face. It became a hit during the age when radio was also, in Marshall McLuhan’s terms…”hot.” McLuhan said radio is “hot” and television is “cool.” He was referring to the emotional impact of radio as opposed to television…and he was right. I’ve done my share of national radio and television commercials, and until fairly recently the voice overs for radio commercials always had more sex, “‘tude,” and “in your face” than the ones for television commercials. Radio was “hot.” It had us sweating and sexing “under the boardwalk.” Tv was “Kool.” It had us dozing in the air conditioning. These days “Broadband” and the F.F.G.I.T.C. are killing tv, and radio is being buried by Ipods and boredom.”Louie-Louie” wouldn’t make it in today’s radio. It just wouldn’t fit.

Like the radio of its day, “Louie” got people hot and bothered. It was fun, and because we all thought it was dirty, it was sexy fun. Through the entire history of America, The “Forces For Good In The Community” (F.F.G.I.T.C.) have always been nervous about letting us think that sex should be fun. And “Louie-Louie” really set them off. The “F.F.G.I.T.C.” started collecting rock and roll records for public smashing…very much like Hitler collected books for burning just a few decades before.

And then those F.F.G.I.T.C. hypocrites came up with a smug, brilliant, ugly public relations move. They started connecting sex with violence at every opportunity…as in “Sex and Violence in the media is corrupting our society, putting our children at risk, and threatening the sacred foundation of marriage.” Sex and violence…two completely opposite activities that have nothing to do with each other…have now become almost the same word…”sexandviolence.”Just for the record…violence is about hurting people. Sex is about intimacy…or in the words of “Big Louie…his own bad self”… “Sex is about smiles.”

I told you that I got into radio for the same reason most of the other guys I knew in those days got into radio…to get girls. Call me a pervert, but I always liked girls…and women. And I loved the idea of being on the air in the middle of the night in bed with literally millions of women…well…at least my voice was in bed with them. All kidding aside, it was a beautiful, strong, intimate experience for me. The key word is intimate. And I just found out you can’t be intimate on the radio anymore. I found that out when I recently tried to buy a few late night commercials to promote the Personal Audio CDs.

I did the all night show on the station involved for a number of years. So I was really surprised when the commercials were turned down. I called the Program Director…a guy I’ve known and respected for a long time…to ask him why I couldn’t buy time for my CDs on his station. He was away from his desk, but his voice mail said “my call is important to him,” so I left my name and number. He called back, and he very politely apologized for not being there when I called. He said he was giving a lecture at a local college. I asked him what was his subject. There was a pause, and he said, “I was speaking on the need for more emotional intimacy in radio.” I said, “sounds good to me.” Then I asked why my commercials had been turned down. Another pause, and he said, “the Continuity Director said they were too…intimate.” You can’t make this stuff up. I said, “does that mean they’re dirty ?” His answer was… “no…she just said they’re too intimate.” I said the only thing left to say. I said… “Kool.”

Big Louie…his own big bad self…would have just smiled sadly and bought a round for old times sake…for everybody still sweating and sexing under the boardwalk…and it would have been on the house.

Dick’s Details Quiz. (The answers are all in the current PodCast at www.dicksummer.com   )

1- Why did the cops stop the guy who had all those ladies’ panties in his car ?

2- What do pandas and singles bars have in common. 3- What’s the WORST thing a woman can say to a man.

Prizes:

3 right – An hour under the boardwalk with someone who is only semi-good.

2 right – An hour long record hop with really raunchy rock and roll.

1 right – An hour long black and white video of American Bandstand.

0 right – An hour long sermon from your local F.F.G.I.T.C.

 

A fun bit came in from Proud PodCast Participant Jim King. I liked it and I asked him if I could pass it along to you, and he said:

Hi Dick,Sure, feel free. My Friend Rich, who lives in Abington, sent it to meoriginally. Got to know him when he managed the Brigham’s ice cream shophere in Wellesley Hills. Great ice cream!!! It’s right next to where I work,Eaton Apothecary.

Here’s the bit:

FOUR places I have lived: Medway; Springfield, MA; Truro; Wellesley
FOUR of my favorite foods: chicken, fish, ice cream, veggies
FOUR places I would rather be: Italy, England, Cape Cod, San Diego
FOUR people I think will respond: Nancy, Dick, Lee, Rich

Here’s what you’re supposed to do…and please do not spoil the fun. Copy this, change the answers to your own answers, and send it to every one you know…asking everybody to send it to everyone they know including you. 

For the record…Here are my “official” Dick Summer Connection answers:

4 Places I’ve lived: Brooklyn, Boston, Chicago, Indianapolis.

4 Favorite foods: tuna salad, salmon, steak, oatmeal. (Honest.With lots of raisins.)

4 Places I’d rather be: nowhere else, Ebbets Field, Santa Barbara, Maui

4 People I think will respond: Dick, Dave, Barb, Eric.

Now it’s your turn. (My Email is  dick@dicksummer.com   ) ps- a very strange coincidence about the commercials for the Personal Audio cds being turned down by the Continuity Director at that radio station…most of the “Lovin Touch” material was written about my relationship with my lady Wonder Wench. I met her at that radio station. She was the Continuity Director.

The Dick Summer Connection – June 24, 2007

Saturday, June 23rd, 2007

Last week’s Toy Boy PodCast struck home. Lots of E-mails about favorite toys. Proud PodCast Participant “R.J.S.” said, “I had a push pedal toy airplane. All the other kids had push pedal cars, but I had a push pedal airplane with wings and a propeller that went around when I peddled.” Good for you “R.J.S.”. If I ever get the wings put back on it, I’ll have a real airplane again, and I hope to hell the propeller still goes around on it like it did before that idiot in the SUV hit it.

“Harry The Hat” said, “I just got a box of flat top golf tees. They’re for friends who are always mooching tees from you. The tops are flat and angled so you can’t tee up the ball.” Harry, that’s pretty good, but if I were a golfer, I’d have some fake golf balls made of compressed talc to lend to the other guys. When they hit it, it would explode. That’s the Toy Boy Touch.

“PodCast Pete” said, “I had the coolest electric train set in the world. It was HO Gauge, so it had only two rails, and I had ten switches and two bridges, and a train station built into a hill. Ha…Pete. I had the BMT Subway in Brooklyn. A zillion switches, fifty bridges, and seven hundred stations, complete with winos, blind accordion players and guys with shifty eyes selling knock-off watches. Thank you for your E-mails, but regardless of your feeble attempts to unseat me…. I AM STILL TOY BOY.And Toy Boy lives in the suburbs of Louie-Louie Heaven. I don’t live right downtown, because the only one allowed to live in the actual downtown part of heaven is Big Louie His Own Bad Self. But these suburbs are good too…not perfect…but really good.

Here’s what I mean. My sexy Lady Wonder Wench came home this evening….now if this were downtown heaven, that would be the end of the sentence because I wouldn’t show you the rest. But this is just the imperfect suburbs, so here’s the rest of the sentence: My sexy Lady Wonder Wench came home this evening…and she said, “I’ve really had it all the way up to here with all the idiots out there…I’m so glad to be home…LEAVE ME ALONE.”

It is at times like these when grown up, sophisticated, Louie-Louie Generation guys fall back on the wisdom and trickery for which we are so well known. The wisdom part was easy in this case. Wonder Wench is a very sexy lady and could at any moment take off and marry Donald Trump or Clint Eastwood if she wanted to. So I was very glad she was glad to be home.

The trickery part was a little harder…but I think I got it worked out pretty well by developing “Summer’s Semi Sleazies.” (Details in the current PodCast.) Young guys can’t come up with coping mechanisms like the good ol’ “Sleazies” simply because they haven’t had time to develop enough sleaze. Louie-Louie guys are living proof that getting older is not all good, but it’s not all bad either.

It’s true that time is flying past, but it’s also true that I can cope with time flying because I’m a pilot. Literally…with a license and a little plane…assuming we get her put back together. We live in a nice house in a friendly neighborhood, except for Steve up the block who is a dedicated pain in the ass. We have great kids. Wonder Wench has a horse. I have a day job that I really love…and on the side, I produce my story CDs and even sell a few. I had a career in radio that I’m proud of, and another as a Hypnotherapist in which I also did ok…so no complaints to Big Louie are due .

Of course, time flies and it takes your body with it…but with me at least, it has been one piece at a time…and so far it’s saving the important stuff for last. I think lots of how your body works depends on where your head is at.

However…as I said… this is the OUTSKIRTS of heaven…the suburbs… so little imperfections do exist. When Wonder Wench came home, she said…”leave me alone.” I think she was giving me some kind of hint. I am not good at hints. No guys are good at hints…even grown up, sophisticated, Louie-Louie Generation guys.

My buddy Al missed a hint a number of years ago, and that developed into a full fledged lovers quarrel, because he didn’t understand the hint. The hint was that she said nothing…for about a week. Why do women say nothing? Why don’t they say things like let’s go to bed and have sex? They don’t. They say nothing. Sometimes for a week. Al, of course, had no idea she was upset until all of a sudden he noticed that she was hurling all his possessions out the window and screaming something in Peruvian. One of his golf clubs and a couple of plates hit a passing pedestrian, sending him to a hospital…which is why to this day Al says it’s a good thing when you’re living with a young Peruvian woman to get a ground floor apartment furnished with light weight, easy to hurl plastic plates and bean bag couches.

You live and learn. I have become better than Al at taking hints. I realize, for example, that the words “leave me alone” mean it is probably not the time to suggest that my Lady Wonder Wench try on the little stringy black see-through thing I just bought her from the Victoria’s Secret catalogue. I did that once, and the conversation turned quite quickly to the possibility of a do-it-yourself removal of organs to which I have become quite accustomed. As I said, this is only the outskirts of Big Louie’s heaven.

By the way, have you ever noticed that none of the girls in the Victoria’s Secret catalogue seem to be saying “leave me alone”?..but I’ll bet that one of Victoria’s best kept secrets is that they all have done so…probably on more than one occasion.

Without reducing this to the level of Hustler Magazine…it has always seemed to me that one of natures’ jokes on guys is that ladies’ private parts are so well…hidden. It’s like nature has given us this life long giant game of hide and seek. Their private parts are all inside…which seems to me is where private parts belong. Women don’t even say “private parts.” All they say is, “down there.” Our private parts are all hanging out…and they are totally out of control. The only time we say “down there” is when the Viagra kicks in and she’s still in the bathroom fixing her hair. And under those circumstances, “down there” has a whole different meaning.

And science is absolutely no help with this problem. Scientists say that sex is all about passing along our genes…that’s why we have sex. They say women look for guys who will protect them and their children, and we look for women who will have fine, healthy kids.

BS. In my experience, women look for rich rock stars, and men look for nymphomaniacs who are on the pill. But we usually settle for the best we can get. And pretty often…that’s pretty good.

As I said…Big Louie isn’t going to hear any complaints from me.

Dick’s Details Quiz – All answers are available in the current PodCast at www.DickSummer.com

1- What happens when you lift the seat on a toilet equipped with the new WC Ghost ?

2- Why is it probably better not to bring your jumentous with you on a date ?

3- What good is banging your head against a wall ?

Scoring:

3 right – Louie-Louie Heavenly Suburb.

2 right – New York City.

1 right – Santa Barbara, California.

0 right – Jersey City, N.J.

Thank you for jumping in on the Dick Summer Connection. Hope you’ll also click on the Good Night PodCast. Would love to hear from you… unless you are Donald Trump or Clint Eastwood. Both of you guys… just keep your hands off Wonder Wench. My E-mail address is dick@dicksummer.com  

 

 

 

The “D Word” Summer Connection – June 17, 2007

Saturday, June 16th, 2007

I MADE IT! I’ve been FIRE WALLED. I am now “The D Word.” I”ve now joined the exalted ranks of initials only scoundrels like “The N Word,” and “The F Word.”

As you know… if you say “The N Word,” “The F Word,” and now “The D Word,” you will be slammed up against your fire wall, your address book full of Nappy Headed Hos will be confiscated and turned into a best selling book, and you will no longer be allowed to even listen to a radio station, although XM and Sirius will consider selling you a subscription.

This is from an Email that just came pouring in from Proud PodCast Participant Bob, who was having trouble downloading the current PodCast: 

“Hi Dick and David,After a bunch of trouble shooting and the always fun and popular networking insanity, I have located the trouble and it is me! More precisely it is the firewall that I use to keep track of my youngest son’s rather naughty web surfing. The filters were taking your first name and decided it might not be appropriate to pass the request. I am so sorry to have caused any undeserved trouble.I have made some adjustments to the filters and now I am the proud owner of all of your podcasts!Take care, keep up the most wonderful work and Happy Father’s Day! Bob”

(David Summer is my son, and the technical brains behind the PodCasts. Dave contacted Bob to offer some help.)

Consider the fact that my main client’s secretary cannot bring herself to call me Dick…she refers to me as Richard…and then blushes…and you will understand how proud I am to join the roster of words, the use of which may be the undoing of society as we know it. (Come to think of it, that might not be such a bad idea.) The only other person who calls me Richard is My Lady Wonder Wench….and that’s only when I’ve done something to incur her wifely wrath.

Kinda interesting to think about what you’d get if you took a big mixing bowl and put us “Fire Wall Words” in there, stirred them with the FCC commissioner’s statement last week (“If we can’t regulate them [broadcasters], they’ll be able to say anything they want!”) and baked the mix in an oven turned up to the stunning level of Senator Trent Lott’s statement yesterday, “Talk Radio is running America. We have to deal with that problem.” My fire alarm would go off…because that’s what it does when I burn a hamburger, or set fire to the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

DISCLAIMER: I hold Rush Limbaugh and his Wannabees in utter contempt. “I’ll tell you what is happening, and I’ll tell you what to think about it” is a direct quote from a promo that Limbaugh aired recently. “All we like sheep are led astray” is a direct quote from the bible. “How fortunate for those of us who rule that the people do not think” is from a book called “Mein Kampf” by Adolph Hitler. In my opinion, there is an uncomfortably similar ring about all three quotes.

But I am an optimist. I believe that we are not sheep and that we can…and eventually do…think. I believe that the time will come when we will put a natural free market end to the career of Talk Radio guys who think they can get away with telling us we must think the way they think. And I certainly don’t think we need Mr. Lott to legislate our thinking for us.

I also think it’s time we stopped calling each other names like “Leftist Leaning Liberal” and “Self Righteous Right Wing Extremist.” Most of us are neither. Most of us are Americans who hate war, but hold those who fight them in our name in honored esteem. We fly our flag proudly from flag poles, car radio antennas and lapel buttons. Most of us don’t care what language the guy next door speaks in his home, as long as we can understand each other in the grocery store, at the school, and in a courtroom.

Most of us now almost wish there WERE weapons of mass destruction in Iraq…but now that we know there weren’t any, we’d like a simple “I’m sorry, we made a terrible mistake” from our government. Everybody makes mistakes. Even terrible ones.

Most of us know the recent Attorney General firings were political… because they always have been…but we wish some government big wig would just have the guts to say, “We wanted guys who were on our team” and get it over with. We understand teamwork.

SOMEBODY… JUST TELL US THE TRUTH!

Most of us also know we’ve got to do something about our borders. But instead of hearing “It would be the end of our country if this Bill gets passed,” we’d like to hear “I haven’t had time to read all 900 pages of the law that’s being proposed yet”…because we think maybe it would be a good idea if our legislators knew what the hell is really in there before they vote on a decision as important as that.

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER:

I’m a pilot, and I have a little four seat airplane, so I have a personal interest in this quote from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security in Saturday’s New York Times:                                                                                                                  

                                               “The threat posed by small planes and boats has been well documented.” 

The fact is, there never has been any such documentation…because small planes simply aren’t a threat. They can’t knock down big buildings. They never have. They never will. They can’t. It’s another big government lie about small planes…there have been a lot of them. They are exactly the same kind of lie we were told about weapons of mass destruction when we invaded Iraq… And those Attorneys General who weren’t really fired for incompetence.   But I’m an optimist. I think…that you do think. And it’s pretty simple to tell the guys in Washington what you think. For starters, go to www.senate.com  There are all kinds of names and Emails there. USE ‘EM. PLEASE.

I’m not trying to tell you what to tell your reps. Just tell them whatever you’re thinking…about the war…about the immigration bill…about the new big lie about small airplanes…whatever is important to you. The big bucks guys are telling them plenty. I think it’s our turn. It doesn’t really take that much. Just a little thinking, and an email.

Dick’s Details Quiz – All answers are in the current PodCast at www.DickSummer.com

1- How does that new alarm clock get you out of bed?

2- Why are toys highly desirable?

3- How come I don’t take baths anymore?

Scoring:

3 right - Tony the Tiger

2 right – Mickey Mouse

1 right – Aflack Duck 0 right – Politician

Many thanks to those of you who wrote about the unfortunate problem with Miss T. Lots of notes like this one from Proud Podcast Participant Mike:

OMG!! I really hope she is ok, or can be repaired.As far as the FCC goes… well my first thought wasalong the lines of “Line’em up and…” but that ain’ta good idea even as a joke anymore. So, I guess wehave to resort to writing letters… I just wishthere was a way to stir up some interest in a campaignlike with R.A.P.By the way, I ran into another louie louie guy theother night and he remembered you! Unfortunately, he doesn’thave a computer.

For those of you who have just joined us, you’ll find an explanation for “The Louie – Louie Generation,” The FCC Guy, and lots of other stuff like it in the Dick Summer Connection archives…right below this.

Thanks for reading this.

“D Word” Summer – Email  Dick@DickSummer.com       

The Dick Summer Connection – June 10, 2007

Sunday, June 10th, 2007

Thanks to lots of people who said they enjoyed the “It’s a beautiful world” PodCast. It has been a long time since I was a disc jockey, so I forgot to mention the artists involved. The first sequence was by Tony Bennett, the second was by K.D. Lang, and the third was, of course, Louis Armstrong. “Satchmo.” “Pops.”This week I was going to warn you about Kevin Martin, the top guy at the FCC. I spent a long time in the broadcasting business, and I am really torqued at this guy. But something that was even more important to me came along. I wasn’t going to tell you about it… because I am grimly determined to be optimistic this year…and this doesn’t make me optimistic. But if you’re going to trust me to tuck you in at night with the Good Night PodCast, I’ve got to tell you about the stuff that’s really important to me…So here goes.

My Lady Wonder Wench is my wife…and my girlfriend. But I do have another girlfriend. I call her Miss T…and she was hit by an SUV last night…and she’s badly hurt. Miss T.’s full name is painted on her tail…N2203T. Miss T. is my little airplane. I was tucking her back into her bed the other night, when the SUV came roaring around the corner of the hanger and ploughed into her.

It happened fast…like bad stuff usually does. About a minute before it happened, my Lady Wonder Wench called me on her cell phone to tell me she was at the airport gate. She was coming to pick me up and drive me home from the airport. She asked if everything was ok…she does that when I come home from a flight…and it was…so I said, “Sure. I’ll see you in a minute”…and disconnected the call…and pow…the SUV hit.

I went “Brooklyn”…A big, hot red light went off in my head…I had a wrench in my hand, and I only half realized that I was running over to the SUV…I think I was actually going to pop the driver between the eyes with it. But before I had a chance, Wonder Wench came around the corner, and I could see a terrible, scared look on her face…and all of a sudden the big red light that was making me nuts went out… everything went cold and black…and I wasn’t angry anymore…just sad…very sad…like somebody had died.

Miss T. and I have been going together for more than a decade. We trusted each other. She trusted me not to bounce her landings too hard…and I trusted her not to come apart when the turbulence got nasty. She took Wonder Wench and me for visits to family and friends who live far away…she flew us up into the stars on clear, quiet, almost Christmas Eve nights…carried us through rainbows and over fireworks displays…together. And now she’s hurt…so bad that she may not survive.

The SUV guy and I exchanged insurance papers, and he said, “Sorry”…and I said something like, “Yeah.” And I hardly knew what to do next. Wonder Wench did. She gave me a kiss…and a pat on the fanny…and she said very quietly, “Let’s go home.” I gave her a pat on the fanny in return (which was very nice), and we did.

Being honest, I have to admit…I haven’t really cared much about Kevin Martin since Miss T. got hurt. That’s really not right, because what Kevin is doing is a terrible threat to America. And I love America …but…I’m only a guy. And Miss T. and I have been a number for a long time.

So here’s just a fast idea about why I’m so ticked at Kevin…he’s the top guy at the FCC, and he’s determined to “clean up the airwaves.” He is a dangerous whack attack fanatic. He has actually demanded recordings of live sports broadcasts, so his staff can try to catch off color comments that might have been picked up by the mikes from someone in the crowd. The court this week said that the things he’s been doing are capricious and illegal…thank God. So Kevin freaked… he appealed the decision and then he actually had the nerve to say, “If we can’t regulate them, they can say anything they want to say.”

OHMYGOD. WE COULD SAY ANYTHING WE WANT TO SAY !

Kevin is a thought terrorist. He is aghast at the idea that the First Amendment right of free speech that those guys in funny hats and wigs wrote into our Constitution all those years ago might actually fall into the hands of the people.

Kevin and the SUV guy are two excellent examples of the fact the Lord has a strange sense of humor… designing the human race in such a way that rectums are just as important as brains. Less impressive, but just as important.

Dick’s Details Quiz – All answers are in the current PodCast at www.dicksummer.com

 

1- How did my dad show me the best way to love a woman ?

2 – What’s the thing that moms give their babies and NFL linemen give each other ?

3- In the Bedtime Story, what did the Head Hunter risk for the woman on the beach ?

Scoring – 3 right – Saying what’s on your mind.

2 right – Whispering what’s on your mind.

1 right – Hinting at what’s on your mind.

0 right – Your mind has been deleted by order of the FCC.

Never underestimate the power of a pat on the behind…or the joy of flying into a rainbow…or the beauty of this world, even after we’ve been screwing it over for so long…or your right of free speech. Also, never underestimate how much I appreciate hearing from you…at Dick@DickSummer.com

 

The Dick Summer Connection – June 3, 2007

Saturday, June 2nd, 2007

John Diliberto has a lot of chops. He went to Penn on a football scholarship, and spends a lot of time blowing scuba bubbles from as deep as 180 feet…but mostly he’s about music…and radio. I re- connected with him for the first time since the sixties at a diner last night. John now hosts a highly successful late night Public Radio show called “Echoes.” He looked me up on the Internet, because he remembered listening to my “Subway” show on ‘BZ when he was a kid, and he has a friend who is doing a documentary on early Rock radio.For those of you who may need enlightenment, because you are not members of the “Louie-Louie Generation”…Hendrix, The Doors, Cream, The Mothers of Invention (Frank Zappa)…that music… was called “Underground,” and that’s why we called the show, the “Subway.”It turns out that John lives only about a half hour from me, so my Lady Wonder Wench and I slurped some soup and traded some music and radio stories with him for a while last night. (John and I slurped, W. Wench ate daintily…and added…immeasurably…as she always does… to the conversation.) It was an absolutely wonderful hour or so, and we expect to do it again soon.Pretty neat, how a blog that’s called “The Connection” can actually connect. Also pretty neat to see what has became of a kid who used to listen to my show all those years ago. (I was also outrageously young at the time.) And it’s fascinating to me that although John is absolutely involved with music, the first thing he remembered about the “Subway” show was not the specific music. He remembered a “campaign” I was running to support Boston musicians. I called it the “Boston Sound.” Some pretty popular groups were involved… The Beacon Street Union, Ultimate Spinach, and Orpheus, to mention just a few. I asked people to unfold a paper clip so it looks like the letter “S” (for “sound”) and wear it on their shirts. John did. (So did I.) His top-of-the-mind memory says a lot about why guys/girls get into radio.

John uses radio to be involved with music. I used music to be involved with radio. John is a music purist. I’m seldom pure about anything. John is like a hip version of a guy by the name of Mitch Miller, who “Louie-Louie Generation” guys and girls may faintly remember was a popular tv performer who pretty much taught people about music. I came from the Clint Eastwood school of disc-jockeying. As in “Play Misty For Me”…in which Jessica Walker was the young lovely on the phone, purring “Dave, please play Misty for me.”

Every time the request line lights up, members of the Clint Eastwood school of disc-jockeying all get a quick vision of a scantily clad young lovely slowly flexing her long, tapered legs and licking her pouting, heavily lipsticked lips, just waiting to breathe her request into his horny old ear. The request isn’t always about a song either. And the amazing thing is, often that quick vision is reasonably accurate. Not always, but often.

One night while I was on the air at WPIX in New York doing a “Lovin Touch” segment, the phone lit up, and the estrogen soaked voice on the other end purred, “Hi, is this Dick Summer ?” I said yes. She said, “Mr. Goldstein would like to talk with you.” I said, “Who?” She turned the phone over to him, and it turned out that “Mr. Goldstein” was Al Goldstein, the publisher of a weekly magazine called “Screw.” It was not a carpenter trade magazine. Al also produced a nightly cable porno show called “Midnight Blue,” from which he used segments for several very successful movies. Mr. Goldstein though it might be interesting to have a locally known disc jockey by the name of Dick star in his next “Midnight Movie.”

I think I said something intelligent like, “Gezornenplatz.” Al said, “Gesundheit.” Then he said something about a blonde, a brunette and a red head and me…all at once. I won’t lie. I was tempted. But as soon as I replaced my eyeballs in their respective sockets, returned my tongue to its usual spot between my teeth, and regained control of my eyebrows and fingers, a picture of my Lady Wonder Wench popped up in my head. And she was not pleased.

I think I said something like, “Thank you thank you thank you thank you…but no…but thank you…thank you…etc.” So much for my quick case of Peter North envy. For the innocent among you, Peter is today’s top male porno performer. His neighbors know him as the guy who goes to work every day singing, “There’s No Business Like Show Business.”

I’m not sure of the kind of calls John gets on “Echoes.” But I’ll ask him next time we get together…and I’ll let you know.

Dick’s Details Quiz – All the answers are in the current PodCast at www.DickSummer.com 

1- Most people called Louis Armstrong “Satchmo.” But what was the nickname most musicians gave him ?

2- Why are chameleons called the animal kingdom’s greatest kissers?

3- What do “Louie-Louie Generation” guys and girls do most at night?

 

Scoring:

3 right – Clint Eastwood.

2 right – Pierce Brosnan.

1 right – Will Smith.

0 right – Woody Allen.

CONNECTION REQUEST – A friend of mine who is an excellent radio/tv news guy, with major experience, just lost his job in an economy move by the Save Some Bucks TV Company. If you run a radio/tv station, or know anyone who does, please send me an Email, and I’ll put you in touch with him. (He’s a catch for any legit broadcaster.) My Email address is: Dick@DickSummer.com